top of page
  • ssewan

曖昧

In Chinese, there's a term called 曖昧 to describe a relationship where feelings are there, but cannot come into fruition for whatever reason. It is somewhat similar to 썸 relationships in Korean, where it's an unconfirmed "some" relationship.


I personally really hate being in either of them-- there's a shyness that leaves a dark pool of uncertainty and even jealousy that weighs me down. There's a bit of self righteousness in feeling entitled to the other person, yet so much fear in voicing these emotions that I don't technically have a right to feel.


Maybe I'm just an old soul living in the wrong era, but why can't romance be as simple as just friends or in a commited relationship? Perhaps its naive to imagine such a perfect world, especially in a day and age where we have easy access to meeting someone new and better. How do I know if your next swipe right won't be the end of "us"? How do I know if in this world of constant job hopping, you won't find love in the new secretary?


But now in a world where I am just as guilty of fearing commitment, I find myself questioning those too readily willing to give me their all. It took me a while to realize that sometimes, we just know, and it's okay to "stake our claim", if we are sure. Because otherwise, we might lose to circumstance.

15 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All
bottom of page