Late Night Musings

Hello jello beans~

It's getting rather late at night, and I have thousands of thoughts running through my head as I listen to the peaceful slumber of my husband (I'm a creeper, I know).

Something I've been pondering these days is "main character energy". Of course, they have the best make up, the best effortless-nice outfits without being stuck up, a healthy dash of cute, a perfect sprinkle of awkward clumsy, and somehow attracts two hot male leads that will fight for her love with great finances and a troubled, pained artiste background for added mystery. And of course, she falls for the one who will most inevitably go through financial difficulty or a life-changing family situation, because she's gotta "do it for the plot".

I think many of us can relate some what to a main character, yet not quite. As an INFP, I am the first to admit that I am a dreamer and a hopeless romantic. Rather than getting angry about obstacles in life, I used to daydream about how I'm going to come out better, stronger, and smarter on the other side, and somehow it will lead to the man of my dreams falling for my charisma and perserverance. Now, as a married woman, I must admit to myself that is not how my romance story went.

However, as I think about it, how do I know that I'm not living my best Asian-drama moment? As the drama-watcher, we get to be omnipresent and watch everyone's emotions, intentions, and motives unfold. Most of these female leads are not privy to how they're being helped, and a lot of times, the "help" becomes more unappreciated obstacles. We are not omnipresent to our own lives, we cannot see the thoughts and actions of all the people around us. And a lot of times, our choices probably reflect more of what we don't know, rather than what we do.

You know who is omnipresent in our lives though? God. It makes me think of all the times I've rooted for main characters to do/say something because I've been privy to knowing the background story to a situation... does He feel the same way towards us? How many choices was he rooting for us to take the opposite route? And of course, how much is predestination and how much is free will? Or is free will already factored into predestination? These are obviously not theological questions that are to be answered, rather questions to ponder late at night and leave be as sleep takes over.

Good night, everyone~