Feelings


"I'm sorry," I begin.

It's just the beginning and I'm already apologizing.

Apologizing for feeling.

For loving.

For being angry.

For being sad.

For being finally brave enough...

"It's okay, are you feeling better?" you ask.

Letting me take the blame.

The blame for feeling.

For loving.

For being angry.

For being sad.

For finally taking a stand.

"Did you ever feel for me?" I ask again.

I'm dreading your answer, but I need it.

I don't know which answer would be worse:

Knowing that I meant nothing,

Or knowing we just missed each other.

But still you say nothing,

And thank me for my feelings.

I'm still torn, not knowing

If I meant nothing 

Or if we just missed each other.

I want t o ask if you're sorry.

Sorry for making me feel.

Making me love.

Making me angry.

Making me sad.

Making me finally break down.

But I'm afraid of your silence

Speaking in such harsh volumes 

Reminding me that I am to blame

For feeling.

Loving. 

Being angry.

Being sad.

And meeting you.

**Sorry, I know that it's been a lot of posts about feelings and stuff that is more artistically written and vague than good updates. 

I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS. #meangirls

These past few weeks have been really weird and emotionally draining, and though I had a lot of fun in Japan, these things were constantly on my mind, eating me away. I know most of you probably don't know what's going on other than the limited information from the bits and pieces, and to be honest I'd like to keep it that way. Thank you for understanding. ♡