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  • Writer's picturessewan

Happy Valentine's Day!

How is everyone's day coming along? As much as I hope that all my subscribers are happy and celebrating with friends or loved ones, I want to reach out to those who aren't enjoying today. :) I have a friend that is going through a hard time, and it reminded me of myself when I was in that same, really dark place. I know that we aren't the only two people in the world who has ever felt this way, so this post goes to those of us who are hurting today.

I know that for some of us, today is the worst day in the world, as we watch couples display their sickening affection for one another through gifts; we wish their roses will have a stray thorn that will prick them, that the chocolates will give them pimples, and that the teddy bear is made from some random cheap carcinogenic material. For some of us, we are so bitter against others because of the jealousy that is eating us from the inside -- why are we single? Why are we single, especially on this dreadful day where everyone else seems to be celebrating, yet we are withering into nothingness on the inside? Some of us are simply lonely, and never had even a chance with someone we want(ed) to be with. Some of us have been hurt by someone and want to be healed by the perfect guy/girl who will be our forever Valentine, and can't fathom why s/he hasn't shown up yet. For some of us, we don't want to heal, and we want to continue wallowing up in this pain because being healed means forgiving the person who hurt us, and for the record: we need everyone to know that what s/he did was NOT okay, so forgiveness is NOT an option.

As you're reading this, you might be scared that agreeing with any (or all) of these statements will make you seem like a bitter jerk, but I want you to know that all of these feelings are valid. I won't tell you that your feelings are "just feelings", because they're not. The sadness, disappointment, anger, hurt... all of these feelings make you human. I can't tell you how to be happier, because you already know from all the "inspirational" articles online that you just have to "set yourself free" and "embrace singleness" and have a Galentine's Day or Valmentine's Day with your friends. You already know you have to "just let go" of these feelings, and you'll miraculously feel like the burdens weighing in your heart have been lifted. However, these things make you find yourself just thinking more and more about how it's actually Valentine's Day, and any way you try to make a pun out of it, it's still just Single's Awareness Day for those of us without Valentines. It's okay. You're not alone. Lots of us feel that way. Lots of us are hurt and bitter and lonely. Lots of us are just waiting for tomorrow so we can buy out all the chocolates at Target and eat our feelings.

I know it's not the most comforting thing to hear, but it gets better. You are very loved, and romantic love isn't the only form of love that exists or matters. It's okay if you don't want to believe it right now. I know if you're a Christian, you've probably heard others tell you to focus on Jesus and how He loved you so much that he died for you. I know that your friends tell you they love you, but it sounds hollow when they have their own plans (or maybe even own significant other). I know you know your family loves you, but sometimes familial love is tied to things like disappointment and expectations. I know sometimes no one's love seems to be able to fill the hole in your heart, because you've left that space for someone specific. It's okay to have a venting party with your friends, and it's okay to find yourself still consumed by the desire of romantic love. Romance seems especially important; once we've gotten a taste of it, we just keep wanting more. It's scientifically PROVEN that romantic love is pretty much a drug and stimulates the same parts of the brain as when you are high, so who can blame you when withdrawal symptoms suck? Life isn't fair, but at the very least, there are people who understand, whether because they WERE there, or ARE there in life, too.

You aren't alone, not today.

Not ever.

Happy Valentine's Day.

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